Value #2: Be GenerousJan 28, 2024
So we talked about "Being on Time" on the last Blog Post. Based on the feedback, it came across like a curve ball. Which I think is super cool and wish I did that on purpose. Maybe its a sign that my mind is a little twisted. Either way I want to flesh out my thoughts on my 2nd value: Be Generous
Back in the day I saw generosity as a weakness or a risk that would only be taken advantage of. This was mostly because I only saw generosity as giving money or things. And yes generosity can be exploited, but that largely depends on what Im being generous with.
I wonder what your thoughts are on generosity? is it a flaw or a strength in your book?
One questioned I chewed on was "how can I establish boundaries by being generous?" And this is where the breakthrough happened. Examination of that question gave me clarity on why Be Generous is absolutely one of my values.
Lets get into it...
What do I Be Generous about?
- sharing my gifts and talents
- focus and attention
- experience & care
- trust & respect
- Intensity in honesty
This is not the complete list but maybe the most important parts.
To Be Generous in sharing my gifts and talents is all about serving others. It requires me to get past my own insecurities and the key is serving others. Serving others helps me get past myself, it helps me contribute to a greater cause. Serving others helps me contribute towards actualizing other peoples goals and dreams. Provided I am on the Be Generous train
To Be Generous with my focus and attention is about making the person in front of me the most important thing in that moment. This requires me to mute my to do list, ignore the clock and be completely available to the person or task in front of me. Yes I said task, cuz the same focus and attention I give to people is extremely valuable when applied to tasks. Because this helps me execute, and execution (say do ratio) builds credibility. Hyper focusing on the person provides a dramatically different experience from them, that being said the bar is pretty low. In a world where an in person conversation between 2 people almost always includes at least one device in the mix, simply keeping your device in your pocket sets you apart.
To Be Generous with my experience & care looks like regularly telling people what I appreciate about them. Aligning my observations and feedback with the outcomes they are seeking. Not just vomiting all my wisdom on them but getting precise about what they want to work on and drawing from all of my experience. All of my experience includes the dirty details of the not so shiny part of my life. Because some of the best experience I have comes from dark places. But I cant access it if Im not generous in being vulnerable about where it comes from. Giving my care and experience that is not attached to some kind of ROI or self preservation is the target.
To Be Generous with trust & respect is simple. Everyone gets 100% of my trust and respect right out of the gate. There aint no "you gotta earn my trust & respect" in my book. Because you are as human as I am and playing a game that only one person knows the rules to is a boring game. Generosity with my trust & respect sets a stage for high contact, a situation where I can rapidly learn and grow with the person in front of me. And it creates a reciprocal situation in that the trust & respect we exchange super charges our learning and growth it is the core of Reciprocal Propulsion. That being said there are plenty of ways to lose trust & respect. When peoples word, actions, and most importantly reactions signal to me that they can not be responsible with my trust & respect I will meter it appropriately.
To Be Generous with my Intensity in Honesty is where that boundary thing I mentioned comes into play. Ive been told many time that Im too intense, or my honesty stings. Its not something I do on purpose, meaning Im not trying to offend or intimidate. Im just sharing the clearest version of my observation. When someone asks me what Im thinking, I will answer the question. When someone asks me whats wrong, I will answer the question. When someone asks me why I said or did a certain thing, I will answer the question. When someone asks for my opinion or insight, I will answer the question. My Intensity in Honesty is not confined to responding to questions. It is also apparent when I help people understand how I appreciate being treated. As well as when my people are failing to represent themselves in the best way, I am compelled to Be Generous with Intensity in Honesty.
So how do I set boundaries by being generous? Generosity seems to attract "takers". Takers are like cats, when you feed them they just keep coming back. They dont bring anything with them except their flees and appetite. And when that happens I am generous with my Intensity in Honesty by letting them know I will not be feeding them anymore because Im not about one sided situations.
Im wondering, what could you be more generous with?