"If I can do it, you can do it" isnt always true

The lesson in Story #15 is about the ginormous value in advocating for yourself while doing so with some tact. Yes I learned this the hard way. I experienced this (the first time🥸) back when I was in 2nd grade. The situation was one that has presented itself over and over through out the years, and one I am sure you have experienced.

Have you ever finished your work early, as in before everyone else and eagerly anticipated your free time? But instead of getting your free time it was replaced with more work. Yes me too!!! Even today whenever this happens my 2nd grade reaction comes forward. My internal voice say "wait a minute, its not my fault everyone else is slow" "why are you punishing me and letting them get away with their slackitude". NOT COOL

Back to the story, My free time was stolen from me AGAIN and I was venting to my dad. He shared his wisdom with me and I decided to put his advice into action. Which at first glance seems reasonable except that I executed poorly. The poor execution was largely due to the fact that his advice was perfect for an adult who understood how to it, an adult who had relationships and influence to leverage, an adult who had options. This is an important thing to consider when evaluating the advice we are getting. The advisor often forgets about the micro blocks behind their wisdom. 

It is also important to consider when we are giving advice. It is easy to say "well you should..." while forgetting the realities of how we came to understand and apply our magnificent knowledge. There are consequences to all of our actions but we dont take the time to talk about consequences. This puts the takers of our grand wisdom at risk, especially if they still have the risk tolerance of a 2nd grader like me😎

If you know me at all, I lean towards the action side of things. While appreciate thoughtful evaluation and measured action for others. I prefer to jump and see what happens. 

By "jumping" back in 2nd grade I got my free time back. I also got a trip to the principals office and special attention from mom. But it was the first time I advocated for myself and even though I had to deal with some negative consequences I had just experienced my own agency. I learned that I can speak up for myself and change the things I didnt like so much. I learned that challenging authority, while uncomfortable and risky, could make things better for me and for others. 

Today I would not be as abrasive and self centered in my delivery. I understand that I have a gift in surfacing problems that are keeping the team from hitting the target. My advocating isnt only for me, its also for the rest of us to have a better experience while we are on this rock together. My lifes experiences can be shared with others but pushing others to do what I did because it worked for me is irresponsible. 

We can better serve by escorting the other person in the practice of our advice. Giving them space to test the waters, warning them of the potholes, and being graceful in letting them take their next rightest step. 

If you want to stay on the path of Becoming the Promise You are Intended to Be, hit this link for Story #1👉#BecomingthePromise👈