Sugar & Spice and everything nice

This entry is part 2 of Story 15 which is a story about self advocacy. One of the lessons in the story is not letting life rub the courage out of you. 

Think back to when you were in elementary school and had a clear understanding of right & wrong. Life was simple, until we begin to notice the adults in our space violating the ideals they impose on the kiddos. This was the situation I found myself in. But unlike the Hallmark specials, there was no grand enlightening moment for the adults I challenged. The only reward I got was knowing that I could stand up and more importantly how fulfilling that felt. I got to experience my peers viewing me through a different lense. I did so at the cost of losing favor from the adults (aka authority figures) and that was Ok.

It was more than OK it was necessary. So before I lose you, if you find yourself shrinking to fit, suppressing your instincts, or just frustrated with the things you see happening around you. There is a way to change this and it comes at a very low price:

- The price is losing favor with the very people that you are shrinking for.

- The price is surprising the very people youre suppressing your instincts for.

But the value is self discovery. You discover your agency, whether you win or lose. This was the big awakening for me when I stood up for my friend by calling a teacher "sexist". Yes I was calling teachers "sexist" in elementary school and no the teacher was not a man. Did I entirely understand the meaning of the word "sexist"? NO, I didnt have to. I knew what was happening was wrong and I didnt have to sit silently. Did I "win" NO. 

But I received a ton of value from this mini drama. The number one value that I want you to take from this is I didnt die. My future was not destroyed for ever. And more importantly I had an anchor point to go back to. I think its the simple practice of getting that first rep in. I now have evidence, a data point, that I CAN DO IT. 

The work is in reconciling through the fall out. Becoming OK with being judged, becoming OK with not being "the favorite". And here is the magic, though I lost being accepted by some important & influential figures in my life, I gained favor from ME. I liked myself more.

So now what? Well what is the situation that came to your mind thats been bugging you? What if you put on the super hero costume of your 10 year old self and stand up? CHEATCODE: try standing up on behalf of someone else.

Then tell someone about it😉